Alice turned around and saw the Queen's guard rushing toward her, spears out, aimed right at her.
"Great," she said. "Now what?"
"Halt," they shouted, as if she were moving.
"I'm standing still," she said. "You don't say halt, unless someone is moving."
"Halt," they said, again.
"What do you want?"
"Come with us."
"No."
"No?"
"No. I won't go with you."
The guards formed a circle and started chattering. After a minute, or two, they turned toward her again and said, "Come with us."
"That's it?" she asked. "Come with you? Why would I ever do that? I don't want to go with you and I won't go with you, so my answer is still NO."
The guards reformed the circle, then broke up again. One of them stepped forward.
"If you don't come with us she will kill us."
"See, now how hard was that?" said Alice, moving toward them. "You didn't give me a reason to go with you before."
"You care if we die?" asked the guard, a good looking nine of hearts.
"Yes."
"Why?"
"Because your Queen is completely insane and I believe that she really would kill you."
"She would, but we could tell her we couldn't find you."
"She'll just send you after me again," said Alice, "so we might as well get this over with."
"Are you sure?"
"I am."
Alice was brought to the castle and put into an overly decorated room, to wait for the queen.
"I'M THE QUEEN AND YOU HAVE TO DO WHAT I TELL YOU TO DO."
"You may believe that, but it's not true," said Alice. "Why are you so...awful?"
The queen sat on her throne.
"I AM NOT AWFUL, I AM THE QUEEN. I HEARD YOU MADE A CAKE FOR MY KRAKEN."
"I did and he's his own KRAKEN, not yours."
"HE SAID IT WAS THE BEST THING HE EVER ATE."
"Really?" said Alice. "I'm so glad."
"MAKE ME SOME TARTS!"
"I never made tarts, but I suppose I could whip up a batch. What kind?"
"RED ONES."
"So, strawberry?"
"YES!"
"What happened to you?"
"WHEN?"
"That made you the way you are."
"THE WAY I AM?" asked the queen. "WHAT DO YOU MEAN, THE WAY I AM? I AM THE WAY I AM."
Alice nodded. "You have everything, but you don't seem happy and you aren't making the beings in Wonderland happy either."
"THAT'S NOT MY JOB. MY JOB IS TO RULE AND CUT OFF HEADS."
'That doesn't have to be your job. You can change your job requirements any time you like."
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN?"
"You can lower your voice, for one thing," said Alice, putting her hands over her ears. "You can walk among the beings who live here and talk to them. You can ask them what they need, what they dream of having. You can have parties and invite everyone. You can smile and be kind."
"I USED TO...be that way," said the queen, as if all the air came out of her, like a deflating balloon. "No one respected me."
"They don't respect you now. They fear you."
The queen shrugged. "That's better than being laughed at, or ignored."
"I'm sorry."
"So am I. I don't like being this way, you know. It's difficult and tiring. Sometimes my throat hurts."
"I'll make those tarts for you and that will cheer you up," said Alice.
The queen nodded. "My husband, the so called king, is weak and plays with his toy trains all day and night. It was an arranged marriage. We don't care for each other and he has no interest in Wonderland."
"That has to be difficult."
"More like impossible," she laughed. "I heard that the Tweedles are going to become accounts, or something like that."
"Fingers crossed," said Alice.
"That's nice. I always felt sorry for them."
"Can I do something for you?" asked Alice.
"I don't know. Can you?"
"I would like to plan a party, to be held on the castle grounds. A party to be given for those in Wonderland. A party, given by you."
"No one will want to come here," she said, knowingly.
"They will. I promise."
The queen studied Alice and came to a decision. "Do it," she said. "Do whatever you like. Make it happen." Then she left the overly decorated room and gave orders that everyone was to do as Alice said.
Photo: Haley Lawrence
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