"What's it like being a reindeer?" asked the reporter.
"Same as being a human, I suppose. Well, we do have two more legs than you do. And we have antlers, of course, but that's about it. Oh, we're smarter, prettier and stronger."
"Do you work for Santa?"
"I work with Santa, not for him."
"Is it fun, pulling the sleigh?"
"It's my job. It's okay, I guess, but the roofs, on your tiny houses, are so small. It's amazing we don't fall off more often."
"You mean you've actually fallen off a roof?"
"Of course."
"Was anyone hurt?"
"Which time?" asked the reindeer.
"Any of the times?"
"No."
"So it wouldn't have matter which time."
"No," laughed the reindeer.
"Do the elves take good care of you?"
"What elves?"
"Santa's elves."
"Santa's elves work in the toy shop, why would they take care of reindeer? Ms Claus gives us cookies, but other than that, we pretty much look after ourselves."
"Do you enjoy Christmas?"
"Animals don't have holidays, but winter is when reindeer get the most work. Enjoy? I wouldn't go that far. I mean, we get to travel but we don't actually get to see anything. We land, we take off, we land, we take off. We get a few carrots and that's pretty much it."
"I never thought about it that way."
"You're human, you barely think at all. If you did, you wouldn't live the way you do."
"Well, it's starting to snow, so I think I'll get going."
"Whatever."
"Thank you for your time. I put bunches of carrots, seeds, sugar cubes and some other things, over there. I thought you might like them."
"Usually you just want to kill and eat me, wear my skin, and put my head on your wall."
"I'm sorry we are so horrible."
"You're sorry? All of us are sorry. The earth Herself is sorry. But you never change. What are you having for dinner?"
"I hope your trip on Christmas Eve goes well."
"Yeah, that's what I thought," snorted the reindeer. "Some poor once living creature will end up on your table and you apologize for what you are. Your sympathy does nothing to change what you actually do."
"Merry Christmas," he said, walking away.
"Shame on you," called the reindeer. "Write that in your column. And clean up your garbage, will you."
"I thought reindeer were nice," shouted the reporter.
"We are nice. We're also honest." With that, the reindeer flew away and the man went back to being what he was.
Photo: João Monteio
Unsplash
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