(Nimue)
Recently on the Contemplative Inquiry blog, James Nichol concluded a post with the following words:
"Although I am contemplating images and not immersed in the landscape I have a strong sense of living presence in a field of living presence. In this state I feel a conceivably irrational confidence in life and the world.. A fragile kind of faith, that my heart cannot resist." https://contemplativeinquiry.blog/2023/10/11/liminal-beauty-and-the-faith-of-a-druid
It's a statement I found deeply resonant, and I encourage you to read the whole post. I've experienced that same irrational confidence. There is a hopefulness in me that declines to surrender despite all of the many reasons for abandoning hope.
When it comes to personal matters, there's a lot to be said for knowing when to give up. Admitting defeat frees up energy to move on to something new. Success depends on recognising when you're wasting your time and energy. I'm a big fan of admitting defeat and wish it was something I was better at. I'm more stubborn than is good for me. However, when we're talking about the state of humanity and the state of the planet, giving up strikes me as a very bad choice.
Whatever good we can do, is worth doing. Giving up achieves nothing. It doesn't protect us from what might happen - not on the way that giving up on a dysfunctional relationship might. It doesn't solve anything - where quitting a toxic workplace might. There isn't some better alternative to invest time and effort in. Our species and our home are in a pretty grim state at the moment, but we have nowhere else to go. It makes most sense to dig in, and hope, and try.
The fragile faith James describes is something beautiful, I think. It's not easy to be hopeful about people, or to see the best in us right now. People can be awful, and the evidence of this is highly visible at the moment. Looking for the best responses, the kindest ways of being in the world and whatever scope there is to support any good thing, is always worth doing.
Having faith in the planet seems less fragile, because I think life on Earth will continue. What's really in question is whether we as a species are going to go ahead and make ourselves extinct. It's a grim line of thought, and one I try not to invest too much time thinking about. I grieve for the damage we do, and for the species we've destroyed, and will destroy. Human greed is such an ugly thing, and there is so much of it.
And yet… the irrational confidence and the fragile faith are with me. I have chosen to love life with everything I have. I chose to care, to love, to grieve, to stay present and to stay hopeful rather than trying to numb myself out with a protective disinterest that can only add to the problems. Not caring makes it easy to do nothing, but I don't want that slide into apathy and powerless despair. Existence is intrinsically beautiful, and worth cherishing and that feeling underpins everything I think and do as a Druid at this point.
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