"You know how you can tell when your politicians are too old?"
"How?" she asked, opening a can of food.
"No one in the real world would hire them. Not even if they had to wear a hairnet and would accept minimum wage. They would never be able to get a job anywhere but government."
"I wish I could argue the point."
"Not possible."
She nodded.
"I heard you kind of trashed the Barbie movie."
"Not really."
"You know you're a sort of dark, don't you?"
"The show was supposed to be female positive but they still included stereotypes and..."
"I get it. I saw it too and there wasn't a single cat in it. Just that stupid dog that kept going to the bathroom all over the floor."
"You're right, there were no cats and the dog wasn't housebroken."
"The dog wasn't even real and it went to the bathroom," he said. "How is that possible?"
"Movies can make anything happen."
"What was with the horse thing, Ken had going? And why were twenty-five guys named Ken? And everyone lied to the blond."
"The blond was Barbie," she said.
"They were all Barbie."
"Yes, but she was the original Barbie."
"You humans are nuts, you know that don't you?"
"I do. I've told you that I know that, a million times."
"Why do you think there weren't any cats in the movie?" he asked.
"There was a Vet Barbie, in stores, a long time ago. I think there were multiple animals in the box with her. One of them was a cat. Biker Barbie was my favorite, but she was way after I was a kid."
"Wait," he said. "There was a Vet Barbie? Was she in the movie?"
"I didn't see her, but who knows."
"It was a movie about dolls."
"Yes."
"So, when are you guys going to take back the country?"
"I think we have all decided to just die."
"Seriously?"
"Maybe," she said.
"Don't you think that's stupid?"
"Of course, but you've seen our government officials."
"True. Probably easier if you all just die. Having said that, most of those men would fall down if a strong wind hit them."
"That's true but the armed forces and cops would still do their bidding."
"Why are humans so mean?"
"I wish I knew."
"What do you think about a penguin?"
"I think penguins are adorable."
"I mean if I ordered one. Maybe Amazon has them. They don't have hamsters. I already checked. Maybe they have penguins."
"I'm not talking about this."
"Why not."
"You can't just order a penguin."
"I can if they have them. Our winters are cold enough. They should like it here."
"They won't like it here and you'll chase the penguin."
He grinned. "Maybe a little. Did Barbie have her car?"
"Yes. It's slow, since it doesn't have an engine."
"That could be a problem."
"Not for Barbie."
"I like fast cars," he said.
"So do I."
"I know. Do they sell cars on Amazon?"
"You can't drive."
"But you can."
"How did everyone like watching Puss and Boots, the other night?"
"They liked it but now some of the cats are meowing with an accent. They want to sound like Antonio Banderas."
"He is gorgeous."
"He's a cat, of course, he's gorgeous."
"No. I mean the actor who did Puss and Boot's voice."
"What?"
"It was an animated film. No live cats were in it," she said. "I thought you knew that."
"I did, but I thought the voice was the voice of a cat. Keeping it real and everything."
"If a cat did it, it would be all meowing."
"And?"
"No one would be able to understand what the cats were saying."
"Cats would understand it."
"But cats don't pay to go the the movies."
"I'm very disappointed. It's not authentic," he said, turning his back on her.
"Hey, it's not my fault. I just watched a movie about plastic dolls."
"Maybe we could open a cat movie studio."
"If by we, you mean the two of us, the answer is no. I am not opening a cat movie studio."
"So you're not only dark, you're no fun either."
"Whatever," she sighed. "I have to leave. Come over when you're all ready for dinner."
"Nooooo fun at all."
"I love you."
"If you did, you would get me a penguin and open a cat movie studio. So I no longer believe you."
She kissed him and gave him a hug. "See you tonight."
"Meanwhile, I'll be doing research on penguins," he shouted at her back.
She grinned and kept walking.
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