I used to write erotica, back in my twenties. It would be fair to say that this caused problems in a number of settings. I had to make the case - even in Pagan contexts - for being sex positive, for not treating this as something to be ashamed of. It's hard when you have to fight to be accepted for who you are and what you love. For a long time, worn out from having to defend myself and (after my publisher died) not having a space for that side of myself, I didn't write anything filthy.
I'm very much a sapiosexual sort of person, and stories were actually important to me as part of my sexual identity. It's taken me a while to figure out who I am and start putting myself back together. I've had help. Not least, there have been people admitting to having read my smut back in the day, and being very much up for reading more of it.
During the autumn of 2022, I spent a lot of time exploring the relationship between sexuality and sacredness. I've been experimenting with ritual on those terms, with embodiment, inspiration and creativity. It's taken me into ideas of deity as well, and has been a process of re-enchantment. The issue of deity is going to call for its own blog, probably many blogs.
I've had help with the reclaiming process. I particularly appreciate the Crimson Coven space Halo Quin is holding on Facebook - again something I need to come back and talk about more precisely. I also need to honour the more private spaces that have been held for me in recent months, with the space to grow and to find myself.
How to Adore a Horned God is a poetry collection and it's available through my ko-fi store - https://ko-fi.com/s/b0e8dde8bd
And this is me reading one of the poems - which is slightly rude.
This year, I'm going back to writing erotica. Shamelessly. Joyfully. I'm going to make more space to celebrate who and how I am, and I'm no doubt going to be talking about aspects of that, in no small part because talking about sex is a happy thing for me.
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