Daily writing prompt
When do you feel most productive?
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To wrap up Autism Acceptance Month, I want to share with you a tool that helps me manage my life.
It's called Spoon Theory and was coined by Christine Meserandino to describe what life with lupus is like for her; the theory also works well for neurodivergents and can be adapted for use by anyone.
I use it like this: I have a limited amount of energy available to me to get through the day. I measure those units of energy in spoons. By focusing on the number of spoons I have available and how many are required to get done what I need to each day, I can avoid future burnout.
Simple enough right? Let me remind you that this world is designed to meet the needs of able-bodied, neurotypical people. It takes more energy for the rest of us to maneuver through it, and how much so depends, to a great extent, on our access to supports and money, which is pretty fucked up, isn't it? I mean, we expect the disabled to live in poverty but it costs more for them to maneuver the world.
What do I mean by that? Well, let's say you sprained your ankle. You'll ice it and keep it elevated a few days and it should be fine. But what if your pet needs food? Do you have someone who would pick some up for you? Can you afford to get it delivered or pay to pick up your order?
If you answered no to those questions, you'll have to shop, but where? Superstore? Pet Store? Grocery? The general rule is the less expensive the retailer, the more walking you'll do - unless you happen to luck up and a motorized chair is charged up and available. When's the best time to go to avoid crowds that can slow you down and leave you in pain longer? Will the shelves be stocked at that hour?
Suddenly buying pet food requires more effort than it used to, and right when you're less able to do it. It's as though it's by design.
Obligatory cat pic
When I was upset last Christmas about Chewy insisting I return a cat tree missing a single bolt, that was a spoon thing. Others didn't understand and I was unable to effectively convey that returning the cat tree required spoons I couldn't afford to spend, and to expect me to do so over one fucking bolt really pissed me off. In the end I bought a bolt and forced it, even though I'd been warned it could damage the tree. Like I said, the world is built for the able-bodied neurotypicals, and the rest of us have to make do the best way we can.
Spoon Theory has shown me how I've adapted by planning my energy expenditures throughout my life. Gig shopping isn't as stressful as shopping for myself because I'm focusing on shopping their list as quickly as possible. When I maintain a routine, I'm more likely to get the things done I need to do. Keeping a running grocery list in my phone limits shopping trips, and can remind me to do a personal shop while I'm gig working.
Spoon Theory also offers me grace by reminding me I can't do it all at once, and maybe I can't do it all, period. But I can choose what's important to me and learn to let go of the rest while accepting that doing so doesn't make me a bad person.
I hope you never find yourself in need of Spoon Theory, but we all know if you live long enough, you probably will.
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