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Monday, January 1, 2024

Three Challenges for the New Year

Site logo image Jen and her cats posted: " Daily writing promptWhat are your biggest challenges?View all responses Throughout my life I've heard that whatever you do on New Years Day is what you'll end up doing all year long, so here's to another year of writing! Obligatory cat pic that has" Dogpaddling Through Life

Three Challenges for the New Year

Jen and her cats

Jan 1

Daily writing prompt
What are your biggest challenges?
View all responses

Throughout my life I've heard that whatever you do on New Years Day is what you'll end up doing all year long, so here's to another year of writing!

Obligatory cat pic that has nothing to do with the post

The past few years for me have been about self-discovery, then self-acceptance. I lived much of my life in survival mode, a coping mechanism I developed as a result of cPTSD. Part of that survival was pretending to be someone I'm not, a behavior so natural I didn't realize I did it. As I grow into my authentic, neurodivergent self, I'm learning to maneuver the world in a way that is of greatest benefit to me without causing harm to others. Here are three challenges I'm taking on this year.

Communication

Communicating with others is a vital part of living within a society. I don't process communication the way most people do. My brain needs more time, and there's often a disconnect between what I want to communicate and how I actually communicate it. People who have typical communication skills see people like me as odd. As a survivor, I learned to compensate by using rote phrases, copying the communication styles of others, or maneuvering to where the other person does all the talking.

This week I listened to an interview with a musician who sounds somewhat like I do, and I realized communication between me and a neurotypical is really not that hard when we both try. A skill I'm practicing to facilitate conversation is to use verbal cues to give myself a moment to process, such as, "hmmm...," or to repeat what the other person said to make sure I understand. I also watch for nonverbal signals when communicating face-to-face.

Trust

Another survival tactic I've used is to override what my gut tells me and doing that thing I think I "should" do, even when doing so is to my detriment. For example, I have kept going when I should have stopped, which led to exhaustion. I'm listening to myself. If my body feels tired, I rest. If my gut tells me not to take a particular gig job, I don't take it. I'm more than money, and it's time I acted like it.

I've trusted people and institutions I shouldn't have because I reasoned they had more social standing than me. I don't trust people as a rule, and many of you shouldn't be trusted. But I have found a few people I trust enough to engage with. If I say hello to you back, it's a habitual thing. If I say hello to you first, I trust you maybe a little bit.

Focus on the Positive

Discovery happens for me when I look at the things about me I perceive as negative, while growth comes from focusing on those things that allow me to thrive in a world that doesn't adapt well to differences. It's time to build on the good stuff. I've already mentioned a couple: I'm an astute study of human behavior and I find ways to adapt. There are others. I remember things, not like a savant, but if I found it interesting, it's stored somewhere in my brain. I recognize patterns and question things that are out of the ordinary. I work hard; it takes a lot of effort for a neurodivergent to function in a neurotypical world, but I get it done.

I'm ready to find a new work opportunity that allows me greater opportunities to thrive. I'm going to find that fit by focusing on all I have to offer. I'm quite the occupational catch, and I'm going to let prospective employers know it.

Care to share what challenges you're taking on to make this year authentic for you? If so, I'd love to hear them.

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