"It's almost Halloween," he said. "What are you going to be?"
"Be?"
"Yes, what costume are you going to wear to the party?"
"This," she said, indicating what she was wearing. "I'm going to be a cat lady."
"What's that?"
"It's a lady who has, or likes, a lot of cats," she said.
"And that's a costume?"
"It is for me," she said. "What are you going to wear?"
"Really?" he said, glaring at her.
"So, you're going to the party as a cat, right?"
"There's something seriously wrong with you."
"Yes. Yes there is," she agreed.
"You should go as a soldier, so when World Three breaks out, you'll be prepared."
"I think that's the Boy Scouts pledge thing. The be prepared bit."
"What's the Girl Scout saying?"
"No idea. They're too busy selling cookies."
"You still look tired."
"That's because I am tired."
"Why don't you sleep more often and take naps in between, like I do?"
"I honestly don't know," she said, tiredly. "I guess I think that when I'm dead it will be too late to do all the things I want to do while I'm here. And I can't do any of those things if I'm asleep."
"That's stupid," he said. "Can you do them when you're dead?"
"No idea. But probably not. Not sure they have glue guns and watercolors on the other side."
"What makes you think that you'll be able to sleep when you're dead? Maybe right now is the only time you'll get to do that."
"I never thought about it like that."
"Why am I not surprised?"
"I'm tired of being tired."
"There's enough room on the step for you to lay down."
"It's cement."
"And?"
"I don't have a pillow."
"Wow," he whispered. "Weak, puny, species. No pillow."
"Can we talk about something else, please?"
"I don't know? Can we? You don't seem to be able to do a lot of things today."
"Can a cat be a brat?"
"No," he said. "Cats are always perfect, so any derogatory remarks are always unfounded and made up by evil people."
"Hmmmm."
"Are you putting those skeletons up tonight?"
"Yes."
"I don't think you should."
"Why not?"
"Remember when Kate got her paw caught between two ribs and you had to untangle her?"
"You're right. It's not a good idea."
"I'm always right."
"Whatever."
"So you're crabby too," he said, licking the last of the treats off his plate.
"I wasn't until I got here."
"What's that supposed to mean? I'm like a ray of sunshine on a cloudy day," he said.
She burst out laughing. "Is that from the song, My Girl."
"Maybe," he admitted.
"I love you."
"Why wouldn't you?"
"Right, why wouldn't I," she said.
"Do you have a globe?"
"No, why?" she asked.
"I want to learn where everything is so when we are invaded, I'll know where to take all the cats so they'll be safe from you idiots."
"I'll get a globe for you, but a map would be better."
"Okay, a map then. I looked a the atlas, when I was at your place last night, but the writing is too tiny to read."
"I have a magnifying glass."
"Just get me a map with bigger writing."
"Okay, but I'm not sure there will be a lot of safe places where you can go and if there are any, they might be far away."
"That's why I want a map."
"Maybe you need glasses."
He stared at her and growled.
"Just saying," she said. "Nothing to be ashamed of. I mean, you're getting older and..."
"We're one of the cities that will be targeted and the government won't let anyone into their underground cities where they will be hiding and making sure people get their mail."
"I know."
"Maybe you should load all of us up and move us somewhere where they can't find us."
"I don't think hiding is possible any longer. Not in a world of satellites and cameras."
"So, you're going to just sit here and let all of us blow up?" he asked, his tail flicking back and forth.
"Probably."
"Is it because you're too tired to move?"
"Yes."
"I think the government is poisoning all of you. Giving you shots and dropping stuff into your water. I just drink rain water out of the gutter. They can't poison that."
"I bring you spring fed water every single day. That's not poisoned."
"Are you sure?"
"No. I'm not."
"You should start drinking out of the gutter too."
"Thank you for the advice."
"Sure," he said. "Anytime."
"Ever hear of acid rain?" she asked.
"No. What is it? Is the government putting acid into the clouds?"
"I don't know what the government is doing. No one does, not even the government."
"Do you know what a sea bass is?"
"I do not. I mean, it's a fish, but that's all I know."
"You aren't very bright, are you?"
"I am, but I'm not an ichthyologist. I don't know fish, if they aren't gold, black or fighting."
"A fish person is an ichthyologist?"
"Yes. It's a person who studies fish."
"Do you know anyone..."
"I don't and why are you suddenly interested in sea bass?"
"I thought you could get us one for the Halloween Party."
"No."
"You could keep it in a tank and we could watch it swim around."
"No, and sea bas are big fish."
He grinned, "I know that. There would be enough for everyone."
"Stop it."
"You're no fun at all."
"I'm too tired to be fun."
"Your government is killing you. I'm just happy they aren't threatened by cats."
"I'm happy about that as well."
"It's dark out."
"I know and it's morning."
"I think you should work on tilting the earth so the sun stays out longer."
"I'll get right on that."
"Promise?"
"Not really," she sighed. "No one can tilt the earth, even a little."
"What about if a comet hits it."
"Yes, if a comet hits the earth it will tilt but we won't know that, since we'll probably all be dead."
"Life is uncertain," he said, frowning.
"More than you'll ever know."
"You probably can't do anything about that either, right?"
"Right."
"You're kind of useless."
"When it comest to the big things, like moving the earth, or straightening out life in general, I am totally useless."
"Well, it's nice that you admit it."
"Go pick up that car across the street," she said.
"What?"
"I said, go pick up the care across the street."
He looked at the car, then turned to her.
"I get it."
"Good. Not let me kiss and annoy you, so you can nap and I can go home and get ready for the party."
"Okay," he said, and leaned toward her.
She kissed him all over and scratched his ears. Then she kissed him some more.
"See you tonight," she said, getting to her feet.
He yawned, closed his eyes, and said. "Later."
She stood next to him, watching him fall asleep. She blew him a kiss and quietly walked away thinking about sea bass.
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