A relationship can be difficult as it is (at times), but during several lockdowns it can be exceptionally challenging for some. You may not see your partner enough or, you see too much of them. You find yourself getting a little irritated, but you're not sure what's wrong. Don't worry, there is nothing wrong. You just need to find a way to maintain the relationship in a healthy way!
When the lockdown started my partner and I just moved in together, and if I'm a little honest we were a little rocky at the time. We had lots of arguing plus disagreements, and then boom locked in together for months. At first, I was happy, I thought since I won't have to work every day, I can finally see him more and maybe the arguments will stop. However, not being able to go anywhere for so long and be able hide when an argument arose, a lot of stress result from with it. Before, we argued because I missed him, now we argued because I was seeing too much of him. Those arguments sometimes turned into days long silent treatments. Thankfully, I was not to give up on this relationship and decided to maintain it. So, how to maintain a relationship during a pandemic? Read on.
First of all, communication is key. Argue if you have to, but don't keep anger in if something they did bothers you. Trust me, I'm the master of keeping everything in, until it all explodes at once. Extremely unhealthy. I don't mean fight about everything but try to communicate with each other about what brings out those arguments, so your partner can learn and next time they don't make that mistake. If you're not great at talking, try writing it down and let them read it. If you feel like you're getting angry for no reason, write for yourself, it will help.
Don't blame each other! Don't keep serious things in, but don't put blame everything on your partner. It always takes two! Don't say things like "It's your fault that…" or "I told you so…", instead try "I understand but, you need to realise that I…". Let me give you an example. At the start, most of our arguments started because every time my partner made a mistake I would often say "I told you this will happen. I knew I was right." And he hated it, and he expressed he did several times, but it took me a while to listen (I'm extremely stubborn). Afterwards I switched to "It's fine, next time you'll know." And ta-dah, just liked that half of the arguments stopped.
This brings me to my next point, to maintain your relationship you have to listen! We covered communication and the no blame rule, but those are nothing if you don't listen and absorb what your other half is saying. Like I said, I didn't listen when my partner told me to stop telling him I knew better. Just like he didn't listen when he did something that bothered me (which he still does a lot because he doesn't listen) but try to understand what your partner is saying without getting angry or turning their words around in your head. There's a chance you won't like what they're saying, that's why you need to communicate. I mean, we all want to be listened to.
You need to spend some quality time together. If you're living separately this is difficult, although you can FaceTime, or call, or go to the park. Something somple goes a long way. Schedule a day or two for your partner, leave your phone in your pocket, and dedicate the time to each other. If you're living together, you see each other every day, this doesn't mean you shouldn't have quality time. Make some nice dinner, light some candles and put a movie on, or just buy something small for your partner. Same rule, little things go a long way. For example, I used to hate when my boyfriend was constantly on his phone everywhere to chat about university or work or whatever. Then one day I said, "if we're together you put your phone down unless it can't wait an hour" and he now knows I dislike it, and quality time has a no phone rule. Maintaining your relationship isn't difficult, it just takes willingness.
Overall, you have to put in the effort for a healthy relationship, especially during a pandemic. You can't ignore your partners concerns, and you have to communicate effectively. Quality time is important, you don't have to be in the same room in order to talk to each other, and I don't mean texting! So, that's all my tips towards maintaining a healthy relationship during a pandemic! I
Let me know in the comments or get in touch about what worked for your relationship during this pandemic!
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