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Saturday, September 16, 2023

[New post] Acceptance and Community

Site logo image Nimue Brown posted: " (Nimue) One of the most powerful gifts we can give each other is acceptance. When we don't judge or hassle each other over difference or over anything harmless, we create more space. This is particularly an issue around disability, neurodiversity and " Druid Life

Acceptance and Community

Nimue Brown

Sep 16

(Nimue)

One of the most powerful gifts we can give each other is acceptance. When we don't judge or hassle each other over difference or over anything harmless, we create more space. This is particularly an issue around disability, neurodiversity and sexual identity. It's also relevant when thinking about how we make space for quieter and less socially confident people, how we handle anxiety and how we treat people who don't have a lot of disposable income to throw at participating.

Inclusion builds communities. When we set out to accept each other and treat each other kindly, we allow more people to be in the room and to feel welcome and relaxed. Acceptance is such a basic thing for participation. Not having to hide who you are is a great comfort.

The flip side of this is that all too often we accept genuinely problematic behaviour from people with power. It's not always men, but often it is. This includes inappropriate touching, talking over people, making unkind jokes at other people's expense, expressing prejudice and demanding to constantly be the centre of attention. Where a person has money, status, influence and control we are often too willing to give them a free pass around behaviour that genuinely harms others. All too often, people are quick to defend the right to free speech of those who have power and not to recognise how that 'free speech' is silencing others.

When people talk about 'cancel culture' what they usually mean is that someone who had power has been denied a platform. What we don't talk about enough is the way in which a lot of people are kept out of spaces in this way. I've been in too many rooms where I was the only female presenting person, the only queer one, the only pauper. I've seen how this works, and resisting it as the only 'diverse' person in the room is difficult through to impossible.

Put one loud sexist person in a space and women mostly won't be there. By supporting the free speech of one problem person you can effectively silence or cancel a great many other people. But as these aren't the people we're most used to hearing from, that absence can be invisible. This is true around all kinds of difference. One person's free speech can be a very clear message to another person that they aren't welcome in the room.

We're used to power structures that have us accepting all kinds of things from people who are supposedly important. We're used to seeing behaviour that alienates people who don't have much power. Being alert to how this happens in spaces you are in can be incredibly uncomfortable. However, if as a Druid you are interested in working for justice, then this is an issue to take on. Seeing it is a big part of the work. Getting other people to see it isn't easy, and challenging the idea that those with power should be free to hurt those who have less power is a massive task.

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