As I write this, I'm sitting outside in beautiful, peaceful surroundings, taking a break from a more involved project. This is a way of being that has featured repeatedly for me this year and it's opening up all kinds of new things for me. It's possible to slow down in this situation. No one needs my time or attention, and there's nothing to interrupt the flow of my thoughts. I can contemplate slowly, deeply and in the manner of my choosing.
Most of the time I really like having company - as long as it's the right company. I'm blessed with a few people in my life who I love spending time with and whose company I find delightful. I don't actually need much time to myself in the normal scheme of things. However, these deep dives into solitude are good and rewarding and make an interesting contrast with busier times.
If I want to, I can dip into the internet and chat with a friend - I've always found the internet good for social contact. It's the quality of the exchange that matters most to me. I like physical presence too, I like sharing space. It's wonderful to be able to fall into quietness with someone else, and to surface when there's something substantial to share.
This year I've learned a lot about what my body needs to feel relaxed and peaceful. Outside time is critically important for me. Slow time and gentle time are vital, too. It's so important not to be constantly busy, and not to be flat out busy for too long when I am working. I'm capable of considerable speed and focus, but it takes a toll and I'm no longer sure that's a price worth paying. I'm more interested in richness than in productivity right now. I'm conscious of being incredibly privileged to have any choice in how I do things.
Richness for me means having a lot of different things going on. Physical activities, things that use my hands, my imagination, my heart. Social time and quiet time, being both performer and audience. Being still and being in motion. The familiar and the unfamiliar. I need a lot going on, and the more variety there is in my life, and in any given day, the happier I am. I'm learning how to deploy my time accordingly, and I'm seeking that richness every day. With it comes peacefulness and satisfaction, and the sense of a life well lived.
Time passes differently for me when there's more variety in what I do. Having more going on actually slows the day down for me, and gives me feelings of expansiveness. I have greater feelings of abundance. I'm discovering greater feelings of richness in very simple things because I'm investing more time and care in what I do. Giving myself time for reflection gives me more feelings of appreciation and gratitude. Changing pace between intense involvement with something, and gentle reflection serves me well.
Spending time alone, I've built up a much clearer sense of what I need in my life for me to feel content. None of it is terribly difficult to achieve. Having the quiet space puts the rest of life into perspective, and creates room to ask questions and interrogate experiences. It's too easy when you're constantly on the go to keep doing things that don't work just because there's no time to think of something better. But on the flip side, there's the beautiful experience of taking time to think about things and conclude that it is very much what it should be, that life is good, meaningful and pleasing, and that there is now a great deal that I have every reason to celebrate.
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