Santa Claus, Biker, Motorcycle, Riding

  1.  He's only Santa for one month a year.
  2.  He's Winter Fey.
  3. He's tough and dangerous, not at all like the jolly man you think he is.
  4. He's a biker and spends most of his time riding. He loves going to Sturgis.
  5. He doesn't like kids.  He thinks they're sticky and smell bad.
  6. He has a long arrest record, for breaking and entering.
  7. Mrs. Clause lives in Florida and goes by the name of Louise Fisher.  He never visits her.  Ms Fisher has a live-in pool boy and a flamingo named Sally.
  8. He never once said Ho Ho Ho.
  9.  He hangs out with other tough and dangerous guys, and rides with the Wild Hunt.
  10. He loves cats and is allergic to reindeer.
  11. He's against cutting down live trees for any reason.
  12. He loves mac and cheese, ginger snaps, and snowballs, with lots of powder sugar.
  13. He reads.
  14. He loves hot chocolate laced with peppermint...as well as other things, but hates marshmallows.
  15. He knows all the old Gods.  They get together once a month to discuss...us.
  16. He has two brothers and three sisters.
  17. He's burned out and tired of being Santa.
  18. His dream is to be on the British Baking Show, as a judge.
  19. He enjoys playing racquet ball.
  20. He likes elves because they are hard workers, they know how to follow orders, and they're usually happy.

Naturally, there are more things, but these are the most important things you might want to know.

 

 

 

 

Picture:  Pixabay