Too early for Joy? Not Really. Too soon for Bright and Merry? Not at all. Holiday Cheer? Anytime now please.

It takes only one symbol to remind us Christmas is something we already have all throughout the year. We don't need a calendar for it. Holiday Camper we got for free at World Market. Yep, forever car fixture 2022.

My mood swings were shifting badly from Mr. Lonely to Angry Brat. It's suppose to be a weekend of fun and relaxation after 6 straight days of work, but Grumpy Grinch me took over and stole all my Joy and Calm.

View from the top overlooking the coastline of San Francisco.

I was worse than Scrooge in The Christmas Carol. I hated being cold and miserable. It wasn't me at all. Was I possessed? Do I need Exorcism? Seems like it. "Father, forgive me for I have sinned." How many? Too many to count.

We see Beauty, but miss Fragility. Just one more push, perhaps a stronger Aggressor, and off the cliff Beauty goes. Monsters comes in all Faces, Shapes and Forms. Many don't even know they are Monsters to someone's Living Nightmares.

"If being sweet and kind equals I'm sorry, then it worked. But may be, it's just because they love me that much, and that they truly just want me to be happy. I don't know. I'm too scared to ask. So, I assume they do. I assume they understand."

I have walked on both. Light and Darkness. End of the Tunnel is real. So is the abyss. I climbed the steep Hill so I can reach its roof that is now covered with soil, trees, bushes, concrete and graffitis. It is of what's left of History.

Monday, Wife needs to drop off 4 Holiday boxes for International Shipment. News was hope. There are several Coastal Hiking Trails close to it. Perhaps I'll find my Joy and Calm again. Perhaps I'll find me.

Standing at its highest point. No one in sight except me. It was peaceful.

Driving to Daly City was nice. Freeway not busy. All was smooth except someone almost hit our car on my driver's side. While I moved my car forward to back up safely, a blue car out of nowhere tried to park where I was about to park pretending we were not there at all. Sneaky, and wow!

SF National Parks preserves Nature and History. It's proof that a City can prosper both with the new and the old. Balance. Compromise. Conservation. Selfless. Future.

Anyways, I pretended not to see the blue car too and was able to successfully parked my car. Strange why people like to park in clusters when the parking lot was so spacious. Competition thrill? To annoy? Well, it worked. I was annoyed.

Battery David from afar. Strong and Brave, as always.

Fort Funston, 6 years after wasn't the same place I remember. It was better, so much better. I wasn't the same, either. 6 years after, I was from good then to worse now. Wish I can tell you differently. Truth as always.

Seems easy until it was time to climb back up.

My first memory of Fort Funston was chilly, Foggy, misty, a contrast to today's moment of beautiful warm Sun with clear Skies and bluest of blue Ocean. Everything looks Postcard perfect.

Time Heals and Builds. Time can also destroy in the wrong hands. Climate Change and Global Warning will one day reclaim this beach. Enjoy and appreciate what we have today. Take pictures. Make videos. Create great moments and memories. They might all that we have 50 years from now.

Happy People and happy Dogs everywhere. Their Happiness, contagious and rubbing on me. It's true that when you surround yourself with more energetic, positive and happy People, we tend to mirror their emotions and mood. Like when someone smiles at us, don't we smile back, even if it's forced or crooked?

Forgotten. Reinvented. Above the deck, the beach looked different. Perhaps it's psychological. Maybe it is. My mind can be too creative and trusting. That is a liability. Not everyone is trustworthy. Not everyone is deserving.

I turned on my Surfin' USA Beach Boys Playlist as I proceed on my Coastal Hiking Trail.

Few minutes later, I was singing, dancing, rolling and waving my hands in the air. I was Euphoric. I was High on Happy. I got Music. I got Rhythm. I got Sunshine. I got me back.

I left the World behind me, and entered the World that I lost. I felt every cell in my body reactivated and powered up. Streams of peace and happiness just flowing in abundance. I felt alive again. I felt me again.

Alone but not Lonely. Isolated but in Cozy Solitude. Anti-Social but so comfortable and content being by myself. Is it crazy? Is it weird? Don't know. Don't care. It just felt so good.

Cobwebs are beautiful, but why do People destroy them when it's Home to Spiders who are not hurting anyone. Humans like to destroy things because it gives them amusement and power rush. Cleanliness is NOT Godliness. Humans made that up to feel better.

Middle Age is a milestone of make it or break it, not just about Success in life but on Happiness, Relationships and Wellness. It can be a glorious age or can be very difficult and challenging. It's mix and match of best and worst, more or less, Winners and Losers with lots of People in the middle just trying, struggling, surviving. It's Gold, Dust and Sand.

We can't run from our past if our memories are still haunted by them. We can bury the memories but they will resurface when we let our guard down. Can be very exhausting.

Many have fallen and never found themselves again. The World don't talk about them. We don't talk about them. Their stories and dreams erased like they never existed, but they did exist. Once, they were real People that mattered.

I see more because I believe there is more.

If we close our eyes in absolute silence, we can hear their faint cries and echoes. They only wished to be remembered. Perhaps, given a second chance to do things differently. Those cries and echoes can be our own.

Goddess of Dogs by Fort Funston. She watches and protects all her Beloved and their Human Families.

Been fighting anxiety, depression and anger for while now. Many don't believe me when I tell them my story or what I'm going through. They think I'm not serious nor is it serious.

Some days, it's easier to give up and let the Demons take over. I am still there when it happens, just paralyzed, voiceless, unable to do anything. I don't struggle because I know it does end and everything restarts looking all perfect and amazing like nothing happened, at least to other People.

Abandoned or still has a purpose? Significant or still useful? Value to the Beholder.

I know, there are People like me out there struggling with their Demons too both self created and unleashed by other People. We need to keep going. We need to keep fighting. We need to keep living.

Who's trapped? Who's free? Depends on which side we are looking from. They say, "Happiness is a choice." It is but also not. Wagon behind Bars, Bars behind Wagon. Location and Perspective.

Be Home from within this Christmas and the Holidays. Be our own gift of Joy and Calm. Light up bright to destroy all darkness. Smile until we smile happy.

They are more than just rust and dirt. They are more than just letters and words. They are screams. They are footprints. They are messages and stories. They are People. They are hearts hoping to be loved, accepted and be made whole once again.

Uphill climbing was harder. Took several stops to catch my breathe. I was so glad to reach the car. Relieved. Reborn.

Demon Slayer or Demon State? Depends on the State of Mind, Mood and Circumstances.

Wife asked me as soon as I entered the car, "Happy?" My answer, "Very." I then shared with her all my little hiking adventures like I just had my second cup of Nespresso. Yep, I can be very talkative when very excited.

Finally, I bought myself Hiking Shoes. Everything seems close and easy. I was running up and down sands like I was stepping on rocks.

"Mood is a series of emotions from extremes of nothingness to blessed comfort. Where we are most content and happiest, that is the goal, that is the dream state. It's never constant. It changes like Climate and Weather. Seize the good ones, and deal quickly the bad ones. It's a cycle. So, Hope is always there."

Mood is a symptom. We don't ignore it. We don't ignore us.

I took a short cut because there's no reason to delay what the heart is aiming for. Still took an hour for everything, but every moment was well spent. I think my Wellness was well deserved and hard earned. I think I was worth an hour.

We all have our Fort Funston. It's our Happy Place. It's where everything feels right, safe and free. It's our Place of Escape and Reset so we can go back to the real World okay and ready.

Cherish that Circle that accepts us for who we are and willing to stay in the middle of the crazy mood swings and inner terror. Don't forget to thank all, beginning with ourselves. We didn't make it this far without the Self holding everything together.

It's Thanksgiving. I just want to thank all of you for the generous encouragement and support. The Blogging Space has been one of my Fort Funston. It's been everything I want and need it to be. Here, I get to be me whenever, wherever. Here, I get to find me.

Grateful and Blessed. Thank You Everyone.🙏