I'm a long-standing fan of Lorna Smithers. Recently on her blog she wrote about her intention to stop writing because of the way it has impacted on her. I recognised what she was saying - that you can end up having all of your experiences filtered through the process of writing. It can feel a lot like strip-mining yourself, and you end up depleted, empty, a ravaged landscape.

It can be hard to be fully present in an experience if part of your brain is making notes so you can write about it later. It creates pressure around anything you do. It can actively get in the way of your personal, spiritual life. It is not good feeling like you've become a spectator sport.

I went round this some years ago when I realised that trying to write Pagan books was having a problematic impact on my own lived experience of being a Pagan. To deal with this, I've slowed down and taken a much less commercial approach.I write what I feel moved to write and I'm not trying to crank them out. One of the unfortunate features of publishing is that without regular new books, it's hard to stay visible or get the sales. So be it. I'm not going to sacrifice my Druidry for the sake of writing about it.

I've been round this with the blog as well. I have rules. I don't post about anything large and personal when it's still raw, I give myself time to reflect and process. I focus on ideas and technical stuff and I don't talk much about recent personal experience. I keep my most numinous experiences private. That's helped me hold the feeling of sacredness. There are things I'm currently considering writing about that happened to me more than ten years ago - which feels like an appropriate distance.

There are tensions between what it takes to be a good and successful Pagan author, and what it takes to follow a Pagan path. For some of us, those tensions will be a bigger issue than for others. I've been able to find balances that work for me, but I have run headlong into these issues and bruised myself by so doing. 

It's important to hold something as sacred, secret, too personal to share. It's important to not feel you have to do everything in public. Social media means you don't have to be trying to become a Very Important Pagan to feel that pressure to share precious things in public. Hold what you need to hold. Even if teaching is your life, you do not owe it to anyone to expose more than you can bear. It's good to be able to treasure things, and hold them close.